Love Behind the Screen

Today’s world is highly dependent on technology. From shopping groceries to finding your soulmate, technological applications have been evolving ever since their inception. As a result, online dating has become more common than it might seem. In a world that is pretty much locked down every now and then due to the pandemic, dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, Hinde, OkCupid are thriving. The ‘trend’ of virtual relationships has been going on for quite a while now. 

Not only this, in a generation where everyone is presented with so many choices, people tend to get conflicted, overwhelmed and confused. On one hand, someone might look for an individual who wants to commit and settle down. However, on the other, casual dating might be the go-to. Regardless, both the choices are completely valid if the individuals in the relationship agree to them. Subsequently, online dating is trickier practically than it seems on paper. 

When you start ‘seeing’ somebody online (pun intended), there’s a fundamental amount of trust and effort that needs to be put in. Just like real-life relationships, online dating requires communication, respect, and individual space. In my opinion, online dating is way tougher because you cannot perpetually see the other person. There’s no physical intimacy and you have to make do with what you have. For someone who has been in two relationships over the internet, I have a lot of animosity towards online relationships. Coming from a very personal perspective, meeting people online is great but having to date them is a task not many people succeed at. 

You meet people behind a screen; a screen that helps them mask the real versions of themselves. You get to know somebody over the internet, not sure of whether they’re being truthful or not. In this process, trust issues and abandonment issues are bound to get amplified. There’s a lot of uncertainty when it comes to choosing your significant other over a dating app. The only prerequisite there exists for choosing them is how attractive they look to you in the first instance. Online dating has romanticized ‘love at first sight,’ quite literally. Not only has the development of online dating impacted more traditional and more organicways of finding romantic partners, but it also comes at a time when marriage and cohabitation norms and behaviors are shifting as more people postpone marriage or opt to remain single.  

The whole concept of ‘right swipe, left swipe’ has become a fundamental determining factor of one’s image of self. Besides all of this, old-school love has very comfortably taken a back seat. People do not wish to put in efforts anymore. Metaphorically speaking, they expect everything to be as perfect as a straight line, but what they fail to understand is that the straight line is made using a ruler; it was not always a perfectly straight line. Running away from commitment, not being sure of how you feel, not fully trusting the relationship, lacking communication, not having the zeal to work on yourself and your insecurities are among the many issues online dating comes with. If someone decides to end the relationship, they either ‘ghost’ the other person or ‘stonewall’ them – just two of the many words in the vocabulary of dating online. These experiences can be very painful for someone who has been ghosted. In such situations of complete confusion, the absence of closure has a lingering effect. 

The pandemic has for sure boosted the usage of these online dating platforms. The downsides of online dating, among many others that I stated above, include getting unsolicited pictures and rape threats. However, meeting people online is quicker and a more accessible way of finding someone. Thus, looking at the brighter side, online dating might even be very beneficial for some people. Online dating provides a variety of opportunities to get to know a possible partner. Various sorts of personality testing and matching are available on many online dating sites. This type of matching can assist people in finding dating matches that are more compatible. 

All in all, online dating might work for some and might be a nightmare for some. Regardless of your experiences, be open to love and the many possibilities the world has to offer.