Blend-in

Is it normal to be subservient and compliant all the time? 

We are often enmeshed with our loved ones and spend our lives in the pursuit of finding happiness and satisfaction. While sailing through the boat, we get involved in other’s life that we start living them. It feels meaningful, recognized and wanted. The emotional involvement gets deeper as days passes by. The comfort becomes ever lasting and sustainably joyful. We begin to embrace all the strengths and weaknessof one another. The commitment drives us to take all the risks that would normally seem reckless while in another state of mind. The act of receiving and giving love becomes the sole reason for happiness. The excitement of discovering things together, delighting in fantasies and anticipating good future for the upcoming years ahead becomes the way of life. 

The certain amount of dreaminess seems permissible however as time goes by we start acting possessively. Unknowingly we pounce in other person’s actions and feelings. We begin to take responsibility to put other person in shape according to our ideal standards and in the name of love we tend to loose our sense of self as we pour so much into someone else. It looks easier to fall into the shadow and become reliant on the other person however this culture of ‘we’ can curtail our individualities. Thinking on behalf of the union is only justified if we are ready to maintain our identities and individualities. Identity as a couple can be shared but it is not necessary to have similar feelings, thoughts, actions and interests. In the virtue of feeling involved and accepted we begin looking into our partners to figure out what we want or need. Then the powerlessness to make changes sets in. The idea of ‘you complete me’ evades the possibility of respecting each other’s differences. Now instead of learning ways to cope up with conflicts we live hopefully under the umbrella of perfect relationship. Our self-constructed norms about relationships makes us so invested in each-other that we can’t function independently anymore. One person who is more passive and can’t make decisions for themselves and a more dominant personality who gets some reward and satisfaction from controlling the other person and making decisions about how they will live. At the point where we feel head over heels, we want to spend every second with our partners. And it brings us happiness as we find direction and course to our feelings. However by committing our endeavors to another person at the cost of self-love and individuality can make us feel shut off and secluded from all the other connections in a long run. 

Before investing in any relationship, connecting with oneself would nurture the future bonds and associations. And remember it is never too late to take a break to re-establish your idea of fulfilling romantic relationships, you have got lost in.