Transport me to the la la land

Well, I thought this could be the perfect time for me to land into my imagination of utopian space; the absolute bliss, my kind of love. Little did I know, I will be transported to the four walled room, all alone, confined into the day and night of my imagination and left devoid of the warmth of the sun. Yes, all I had was my imagination with me but that came with constant fear and worry for being a carrier of the Covid strain. Deadly !! 

I would sob into the corner of the room, wondering how I am left alone and how this disease comes with isolation and complete disconnect from the world. You don’t want to become the reason for someone else to suffer but the demonic me always wanted to rekindle with the foes, what more convenient way to punish the other for what they have done to me in the past at some given point. However, the angelic me always wins over the sadist unfulfilled me and not just I keep myself away but also ensure my prayers are not differentiated in any way. 

Wishes come true, but being transported to the la la land of my room , constantly worried for another symptom to grow and reading the numbers online not only accentuates the anxiety in me but dreads me of very existence. I am left to wonder and  face myself in utmost vulnerability, uncertainty, and mortal truth. 

How uncertain can this life be ? I guess, I know now.