THE TOUCH OF LOVE!

There are relationships in our life that we are born with and others that we create for ourselves. The difference in both is how you get a choice to continue in a relationship of your own creation. Can you ever think of breaking up with your family? No! But you do break up with your friends and your partner over things that sometimes feel too foolish, distance and the absence of physical presence playing a key role in it. This past year has only made me realize how the emptiness of someone’s physical presence can create a mountain of distance between them.

Things have been hard lately. Fear has gripped our senses to their peak. We are experiencing the worst of times on the face of humanity. Amidst all this, we are all also missing that touch of love. Some of us are away from our homes, some away from our partners, some others feeling terribly distant from our friends and our lives. Why do we feel such a need? The answer is simple, because it shows us that someone cares. You will shy away from anyone else offering you a head massage, but you’ll force your mother to do it for you because you know there’s magic in her hands. The people who abhor being touched even affectionately, adore a friend who forces hugs on them because they know that deep down you love them. The dog that’s been sitting alone the entire day finally has someone to play with when you pat him, someone to tell him he’s loved, that he matters. You might not speak to your sibling for the entirety of the day, but you have that one moment of bravery where you risk your life to attack him, knowing he will hit back, only because you love him so. The mere freshness of the air and seeing the world grow in front of your eyes, has its own sense of love that is quite indescribable. But this year has snatched away this privilege from us. We are all isolated inside four walls of our houses, some with and some away from our families. But the relationships suffering the most at the hands of this distance have been the romantic ones. A lot of people my age have broken up with the people they once fell in love with, because they did not feel closer to them anymore. Some other are hanging to hope like dear life, for things to go back to normal, to make that relationship work. I remember speaking to our founder about this topic when I thought of writing it and she said something that struck a chord with me. ‘Most of us crave that touch of intimacy from a partner, not all of us have experienced it, those who have not, fantasize about it, but those who have, they know what they are missing out on, and it is not an emotion one wants to feel; the acute sense of absence of the other.’

Speaking from personal experience, it all boils down to feeling comfort in someone’s presence. Knowing that you don’t have to pretend, and you can be yourself. Such comforts cannot be achieved through the means of technological advances, however great they might be. It feels impersonal when you talk to someone through a video call even though you can still see each other. You feel distant when all you need is to make your worries disappear in the arms of your loved one, but they are not present to hold you. Even though relationships have suffered the brunt of distance since time immemorial, the present impossibility of being able to hold each other at all, makes you weep at nights, throwing you to the edge of giving up all hopes in it and eventually blocking that person out of your life. I don’t mean this hypothetically, I have suffered the heartbreak from a relationship at the end of this distance. You might not understand why you are angry at the other person, your irritability touching the roof, when all you really want to do is to be held and to be loved. I do not mean to create a fantasy of intimacy, I mean it in all honesty when I say there’s truly nothing better than to love and to be loved. Touch, intimate or otherwise, has always had an important part in the portrayal of that love.

All of us at some point in our lives feel the need to have that someone special who makes us feel happy about just being alive. It starts at the very time we are born; we are the center of our family’s universe. Eventually as life goes on, we make our own decisions and part from our families physically to make a life for ourselves. We make friends along the way, some of them who feel more like family. They not only make you see and accept the beauty that is you but also help you identify your flaws and become the best version of yourself. However, as time moves, you move away from these friends with heavy hearts in new places to make your mark in the world. In these moments, you need someone who can tell you that you are beautiful and worth all the effort in the world. They don’t need grand gestures to showcase their love, that little thing where they hold your hand and sit with you while wallow in your sorrows is soothing enough.

Knowing the touch of love can be your greatest joy and your deepest sorrow, one that helps you feel and to live, but also one that makes you lonely. We have all been in love, we have all been through heartbreaks and we all still crave to be touched like we are the best thing that ever happened to someone. Hold on to that hope, because I truly believe you will feel it again, we all will, and when that time comes, hug them a little tighter, even if they try to break away. Tell them you love them, more than words can ever do justice. For all those yearning the warmth of their distant partners, have faith, a little patience, even though the current times don’t help you feel hopeful, have hope. You will be reunited with your partner; you will feel their heart beating against yours and you will be able to hold and kiss them again. Trust your love!